There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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