Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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