Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
its not stalking. its research.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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