i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I need water and some morals
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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