I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize