I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
