Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
