You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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