thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
