There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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