a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
