Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
