my mouth tastes like poor choices
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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