i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
