nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
