she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
