There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
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you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
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You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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