i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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