This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
