My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize