I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
