wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
