there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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