Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i think i just lost a toe
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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