my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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