About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
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The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
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Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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