its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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