Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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