dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
