I need help removing her.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I need moral support for this bender
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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