somebody snuck up and got me drunk
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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