just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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