she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
