i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
