I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize