That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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