Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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