I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
