I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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