So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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