Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
