If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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