What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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