She is in my trunk
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
