did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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