Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
