pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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