We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize