so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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