Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
