You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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