I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
