I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
