just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
How does one acquire holy water?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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