he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
