Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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