so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
