I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
