forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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