Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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